In Christ Alone Mom: PUBLIC SCHOOL: FOOLISH CHOICE

In Christ Alone Mom: PUBLIC SCHOOL: FOOLISH CHOICE: This is a very strong stance against public schools, that is for certain. However, it is my convicted stance and I won't apologize. If you...

Christianity and Modern Medicine

Many people know that we do not prescribe to modern medicine on a regular basis. Sure, if someone had a broken bone, got into a car accident, etc., we would go to the hospital and receive treatment, but for other treatments, we seek natural remedies and natural prevention.

I've often been reluctant to share my feelings because not only do I know many people in the medical field, but I have family members who are doctors, nurses, etc. I am worried that they would feel I was attacking them and their profession when that isn't my intent.

Christianity and the (False) god of Modern Medicine is a blog post I ran across the other day and I thought it was very well written and includes many of my thoughts on modern medicine. The author does a good job of explaining herself and beliefs and has done more research on the topic than I have time to do myself. I suggest taking a look at it.

Sexuality and Modesty

I've been considering writing something on this topic and then I ran across this post at Cultivating Home. I might still write something when I have more time, but I also encourage you to check out Sexuality and Modesty at Cultivating Home.

10 Responses Against "Concern"

My initial response to those with inappropriate "concern" after a miscarriage.

Photo courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net

We know that care and concern were your reasons for writing; however, we were hurt by what was written. It may not have been your intention, but it made one of us feel as if you thought of us as ignorant and naive and belittled our faith. If there was any time we needed encouragement, it would be now. Instead we felt attacked and bullied by the "scare" tactics used. The only way scare tactics are going to work is on uneducated, ignorant, naive people.

Some of the following we have said before, but obviously they need to be reiterated. Some of the statements are information meant to educate. The rest of the statements are truly only our business, but since you are showing concern, we will share them with you.

1. We view children--ALL children--as blessings from the Lord. Whether we have children on this earth with us or in heaven waiting for us, they are all blessings. We are happy with how the Lord has blessed us to this point. If our nine girls is all He has for us, we are content. If He has more planned for us, then we will be content with that as well. We are not out to try to have as many children as possible. We are open to all blessings the Lord has for us. "Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, The fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, So are the children of one's youth. Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them; They shall not be ashamed, But shall speak with their enemies in the gate." Psalm 127:3-5

2. We have complete and utter faith that God will provide for us. If He brings us to it, He will bring us through it. He will never give us more than we can handle. "'Therefore do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things."' Matthew 6:31-34

3. We believe in allowing our bodies to work as God created them to work. He created a woman's body to "be fruitful and multiply". It is never dangerous to do something within God's will. We do not feel as if Darcy is in any danger and we have peace with what God is doing in our lives. "All things work together for the good of those who love the Lord, to those who are called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28

4. Our sex life is just that--ours. It shouldn't be up for debate with anyone besides Chad, Darcy and God. When comments are made about when we have sex, how often we have sex, or how we should have sex, it is interfering with something that is to remain within the marriage. We don't go around offering "advice" to others on when they should have sex and we expect the same respect for our marriage.

5. Darcy has seen our Naturopathic doctor since discovering she was pregnant to ensure she was taking the supplements she needed. She saw her the day she started spotting and every few days thereafter. Her iron levels were being monitored and taken care of as needed.

6. Darcy did contact a medical professional to see if anything should be done after the miscarriage. She was told that unless she felt ill, the only thing that would be done is to check her iron levels and offer emotional support. Since her iron levels were already being monitored, we declined paying to have the same thing done (we were being wise stewards of our finances). Since your "concern", Darcy spoke with another medical professional who said that a doctor won't do a D&C on a woman who has had a complete miscarriage as she has.

7. Just because a woman has a miscarriage, it does not mean that her body is not capable of carrying a life or that it is a "sign" that she is to stop bearing children. Think of all the families that experienced a miscarriage on their very first pregnancy! What about Michelle Duggar who had a miscarriage after her first child and then went on to bear 18 more children without any problems. Here are some statistics about miscarriage.

• About 15 to 20 percent of all pregnancies end in miscarriage. Most of them occur in the first 13 weeks, or first trimester.
• For women in their 20s and early 30s, the chance of miscarriage is about 15 percent. At 35 the chance of miscarrying rises to one in four, and at 40 the miscarriage rate is close to one in three.
• Most early pregnancy losses are due to genetics and cannot be prevented. But losing a pregnancy doesn't mean that anything is wrong with a woman's health or that she can't have more children.

8. Just because a woman has a miscarriage, does not mean that "it is absolutely necessary to have a D&C" or she risks infection, get sick or even die.

• [D]octors sometimes offer women a choice of miscarriage treatment. The options are usually to wait for a natural miscarriage, have a D&C, or use medication to bring on the miscarriage bleeding.(emphasis mine)
• 80% to 90% of women with diagnosed miscarriage will miscarry within two to six weeks without complications.
• After a miscarriage, any remaining tissue may be removed by dilation and curettage (D&C). This procedure involves dilating the cervix and gently scraping the tissue from the lining of the uterus. (emphasis mine)

9. Our older girls are NOT raising our younger girls no matter what you may think. Chad and Darcy are the parents and we do not put our children in an authority role (except for Dara who is beginning to learn how to babysit just as I did when I was actually younger than her). Do they help around the house? Sure. It is called training. It is what God has called us as parents to do. We are a family and we act as a family. Christ came to serve, not be served. We are teaching our children the joy of serving others. We don't see how teaching them to be like Christ is a bad thing. "through love serve one another" Galatians 5:13 and "you shall love your neighbor as yourself" Leviticus 19:18.

10. People say, "God gave you common sense." We believe scripture when it says,

• "'For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways, "says the Lord. "For as the heavens are higher than the earth, So are My ways higher than your ways, And My thoughts than your thoughts."' Isaiah 55:8-9
• "There is a way that seems right to a man, But its end is the way of death." Proverbs 14:12
• "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths." Proverbs 3:5-6
• "Where is the wise? Where is the scribe? Where is the disputer of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of this world?. . . Because the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men. . .But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to put to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to put to shame the things which are mighty . . . that, as it is written, "He who glories, let him glory in the Lord." 1 Corinthians 1: 20, 25, 27, 31

Answer Not

It seems that suffering a miscarriage creates an opportunity for people to voice their opinions on your lifestyle. If they don’t agree with you, then they think it is okay for them to tell you why you miscarried.

I, unfortunately, have experienced this first hand and from people in my own family. While I know they don’t agree with us leaving our family size in God’s hands, I never imagined they would use the death of our babies to attack us. Of course, maybe I just feel attacked because my emotions are so raw, but in either case (intentional or not), I really don’t think it was the best course of action.

I had an email response all set to go, however, my husband wasn’t quite in agreement with some of the wording. I reworded the section that caused him concern, but he still wasn’t sure. The next morning as I was reading my Bible, God led me to Matthew 27:11-14.

Now Jesus stood before the governor. And the governor asked Him, saying, “Are You the King of the Jews?”

Jesus said to him, “It is as you say.”

And while He was being accused by the chief priests and elders, He answered nothing.

Then Pilate said to Him, “Do You not hear how many things they testify against You?” But He answered him not one word so that the governor marveled greatly.

Christ said nothing to His accusers. It didn’t matter what they said. The fact that they were saying it didn’t change the truth. Besides, He didn’t want to change the course of events because that would have been against the Father’s will.

We are here to do the Father’s will just as Christ was. It was after reading this that I remembered Exodus 14:14, “The Lord will fight for you, and you shall hold your peace.”

I need to hold my peace. I sent an email that instead answered their concern about my health and left it at that.

That being said, I am pretty sure that none of the people who sent their “concerns” reads my blog. If they do, then they will be able to read what I wanted to respond. I want to share here how I initially felt about responding because I not only want to express our views, but also educate others who may not know so they don’t make the same mistake if someone in their life has a miscarriage.

Check back tomorrow to see my initial response.

“Many Are the Afflictions of the Righteous

“Many are the afflictions of the righteous, But the Lord delivers him out of them all.” ~ Psalm 34:19

We are not told that we will have a carefree life when we live for Christ. In fact we are told, “many are the afflictions”. It seems like I’ve experienced more than my share of afflictions lately.

We have endured a very rough couple of months. Now I know there are people who are enduring much more than we have even in these difficult times for us, but it has still been very hard for us. I admire those who are suffering more than us as they continue to not only survive, but flourish amidst their circumstances.

I wrote last month about going through a difficult time with some things. We are still dealing with those issues as well as another blow. While I thought about not saying anything at all or even mentioning it, but not going into details (as I have in the past), God laid it on my heart to be open and honest. It is by not only being open and honest that I might bring healing to my heart, but it may also be an encouragement to others and let other women know they are not alone.

Late last week I suffered my first miscarriage.

Only a handful of people even knew I was pregnant as we hadn’t even told our girls yet. I was two months along. We had only told the few people whom we knew would be happy for us and not offer us rude comments, silence, or fake congratulations. We hadn’t told the girls yet because we know they are not as discreet when it comes to sharing information.

Suffering the miscarriage was hard enough, but it seems as if I miscarried twins. Since this was my first experience with miscarriage, I was unsure of what to expect or what to expect my body to be able to handle. I threw myself into work after I initially miscarried because I was trying to avoid thinking about it. This was not helpful as it stressed my body more than it should have been stressed.

Even after I realized that I was going to need to rest to recover, I kept my mind busy by watching Road to Avonlea episodes. I lost myself in the lives of the characters instead of dealing with my own pain. It was only after I had finished the final season that I allowed myself to think about what happened for more than a few minutes. I spent time in my Bible and found comfort in God’s Word.

While I have been telling myself from the beginning that it was God’s will and that He knows better than I, I was having a hard time truly believing that in my heart. I kept wondering what I had done wrong to cause the miscarriage. I wondered if it was because I have been praying for a boy so much and the babies I miscarried were girls. I wondered if I have been a bad mother to the children I have and that is why God took these new lives. I wondered if it was because I hadn’t taken good care of my body and it wasn’t fit to carry life. I wondered if it was because I have often thought that I couldn’t care for a special needs child and maybe one or both of the babies would have had special needs.

I wondered a great number of things, but the TRUTH is that God has a plan for my life. His ways are different than my ways (Isaiah 55:8). I have already seen him use my sufferings to help others and I know He will use this for His glory as well. It might be by my being able to comfort someone else enduring a miscarriage or it might just be by expressing my love of life—any life.

I am sure I will still have moments where I question God’s decision. I am sure I will still have moments where I just break down in tears. I know I will think more about the consequences of my decisions even if it is as simple as eating something that I know I really shouldn’t. I know I will spend more time in His Word instead of escaping into fictitious world. I know I will continue with my “Blessings Book” (which I started after reading One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp. Read about my thoughts on the book here.).

I pray and hope that anyone who has experienced a miscarriage would comment here and share your thoughts, experience, encouragement, etc. with others. I pray that those who have never experienced a miscarriage but would like to express their words of comfort and encouragement would leave a comment. I pray that those who feel the need to leave a rude or hurtful comment would chose to keep their fingers silent and not comment.

I leave you with the following scripture as encouragement.

I will bless the Lord at all times;

His praise shall continually be in my mouth.

My soul shall make its boast in the Lord;

The humble shall hear of it and be glad.

Oh, magnify the Lord with me, And let us exalt His name together.

I sought the Lord, and He heard me,

And delivered me from all my fears.

They looked to Him and were radiant,

And their faces were not ashamed.

This poor man cried out, and the Lord heard him,

And saved him out of all his troubles.

The angle of the Lord encamps all around those who fear Him ,

And delivers them.

Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good;

Blessed is the man who trusts in Him!

Oh, fear the Lord, you His saints!

There is not want to those who fear Him.

The young lions lack and suffer hunger,

But those who seek the Lord shall not lack any good thing. . . .

. . . . The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears,

And delivers them out of all their troubles.

The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart,

And saves such as have a contrite spirit.

~Psalm 34: 1-10; 17-18

Why Have Babies

Why Have Babies-- A Look at Chapters 17 & 18 of Be Fruitful & Multiply: Why Parents in the Twenty-First Century Love Having Children & What Do Children Say?

                                                         

Both of these chapters give exact quotations from real people as to why having more children is a blessing. While there are 101 reasons from parents, here are just some of them that I can definitely say I agree with!

“We love receiving gifts and blessings from God.”

“I’d love another baby because to choose not to is like saying “no” to God. I want to say “yes” to God and His will for my life.”

“I love to see the faces of my children as they see a new brother or sister for the first time.”

“Children brighten up the home. They make life interesting.”

“More children give us the opportunity to have our faith increased as we see God meet our daily needs.”

“Having children helps to develop in us the godly character of servanthood.”

“My children help me surrender the selfish desires of my flesh.”

“Parenthood allows us to experience the kind of love our Heavenly Father has for us.”

“Babies remind us of how wonderful and how creative our God is.”

“Babies are a lot more entertaining than television.”

“We’re helping to build the kingdom of God.”

“Children teach me to become a servant, and that’s what Jesus wants us to be. Jesus Himself said He came to serve rather than be served.”

“The more children we have, the more we will be blessed when we are older. Instead of being lonely, we will have many children and grandchildren around to entertain us, to bless us, and to care for us.”

“Raising up a godly seed is laying up treasure in heaven.”

“Having children causes us to depend on God moment by moment!”

Some six year olds said:

“Because I love babies.”

“Because I want to hug another one. And I could babysit at home.”

“I could make him laugh and teach him how to do tricks and how to play games.”

When I asked my own girls why they wanted me to have another, I got the following responses:

“I just love babies.”

“Because they always grow up and I like having a baby around.”

“I want a brother so I can play tricks on him.”

Children are truly a blessing and reading and studying this book and the scriptures it brought to light have only made that more evident for me. I pray this series of posts has been a blessing to at least one other person.

If you have been encouraged to read this book on your own, reconsider more children, study the scriptures more yourself, or something else because of this series, please leave a comment below!

No One is Perfect

I get comments all the time about being "Super Mom". I feel bad every time I hear that name because I am far from it. Here is a post that talks perfectly about being imperfect.

We're All Imperfect

I Apologize!

I really need to apologize! I haven't been posting any of my own thoughts lately because of a busy home life. We had a sickness go through the family a few weeks ago that affected everyone except me (thank goodness!). Then it was trying to play catch-up. Then the holiday was spent with extra time with Daddy home. Now we are getting ready to attend Bible Bee Camp for the next three days. Of course, after some time away, I'll probably be busy catching up again (not doing laundry for three days is really going to hurt!). I am really going to try to get back into posting next week.

I truly hope everyone has enjoyed the links I've been posting and will come back when I get back to regular posts!

God Bless!

The Great ‘Making Babies’ DVD and Book Giveaway ~1st of 3

I looked at a friends copy of Making Babies the other day and it made me want it even more than I did before I looked at it! You can enter to win a copy of the book and DVD by visiting the website below!

The Great ‘Making Babies’ DVD and Book Giveaway ~1st of 3