“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet your brethren only, what do you do more than others? Do not even the tax collectors do so? Therefore you shall be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect.” ~ Matthew 5:43-48
We are called to love everyone—those who are our family,
those who are our friends, those who we don’t know and even those who have hurt
us tremendously (whether they are repentant or not). Christ doesn’t say that it
will be easy, but it is what we are called to do.
If we only love those who love us back, we are no different
than the world. If we treat our enemies with hatred as they treat us, we are no
different than the world. We are called to be different from the world. We need
to forgive those who hurt us.
Here is where my question comes in. What does it look like
to love our enemies? How can we show
forgiveness and love without setting ourselves up for continual attacks? Does
showing forgiveness mean that we trust that person (those people) again? Can we
cut off communication with someone and still show love?
I have been deeply hurt by someone that I befriended. I
prayed for her and her marriage. I grieved with her when her mother died. I
invited her and her family into my home and showed her love, respect, grace,
and mercy. She then took my trust and hurt me so terribly that I can’t even
imagine anything hurting more (except by someone in my family).
I forgive her but also pity her. She says she knows Christ,
however, “every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. A
good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit.” (Matthew
7:17-20). While every person sins and messes up, this is not the only “bad
fruit” I have seen produced from her. I’m having a hard time justifying
continual bad fruit as mistakes and because of that I truly can’t expect her to
live as I live because she doesn’t have Christ’s strength and peace in her.
I know that many of the things she has experienced in her
life is of her own doing and she doesn’t even realize it. I know that if she
truly did come to know Christ, then her life would change drastically and for
the better, but there is a difference between saying you know Christ and attend
church and actually having a relationship with Him.
That being said, is it okay for me to cut off communication
with her? I do still pray for her to come to a saving knowledge of Christ. Is
that the way that I am supposed to show love? Should I not cut off
communication and continue to try to witness to her? Am I supposed to open
myself (and my family) up for more pain by allowing her to have the opportunity
again to hurt me?
I am hoping people will share their perspectives with me. I
look forward to reading advice that is backed up with scripture.
Voddie Bachaum's definition of biblical love (based on deuteronomy 6:5) is that 'love is an act of will accompanied by emotion that leads to action on behalf of it's object'.
ReplyDeleteBased on that definition, it is hard to know if the action you are called to would be prayer+witnessing, or prayer alone, as in your situation, Matt 7:6 comes to mind.
Having said all of that, I consider my knowledge of the Bible on this subject insufficient to give direct advice, but please know that I am praying for wisdom for you!
It is well to remember that The Messiah "loved His enemies" when He testified:
ReplyDeleteMat 23:13-35 - "But woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for you shut up The Kingdom of Heaven against men, for you don't go in yourselves, and when others try to enter in, you seek to prevent them.
Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for you devour widows' houses, and for a pretence make long prayer, therefore you shall receive the greater damnation.
Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for you compass sea and land to make one convert, and when he is made, you make him twofold more the child of hell that you yourselves are.
Woe unto you, you blind guides, which say, "Whoever shall swear by the temple, it is nothing, but whoever shall swear by the gold of the temple, he is a debtor!
You blind fools, for what is greater, the gold, or the temple that sanctifies the gold?
And, whoever shall swear by the altar, it is nothing; but whoever swears by the gift that is upon it, he is guilty.
You fools and blind, for what is greater, the gift, or the altar that sanctifies the gift?
Whoever therefore shall swear by the altar, swears by it, and by all things that are on the altar.
And whoever shall swear by the temple, swears by it, and by HIM that dwells in the temple.
And he that shall swear by heaven, swears by The Throne of G-D, and by HIM WHO sits upon The Throne.
Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for you pay tithe of mint and anise and cummin, and have omitted the weightier matters of the law, judgment, mercy, and faith, these you ought to have done, and not to leave the other undone.
You blind guides, which strain at a gnat, and swallow a camel.
Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for you make clean the outside of the cup and of the platter, but within they are full of extortion and excess.
You blind Pharisee, cleanse first that which is within the cup and platter, that the outside of them may be clean also.
Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for you are liken unto whitewashed tombs, which indeed appear beautiful outward, but are within full of dead men's bones, and of all uncleanness.
Even so you also outwardly appear righteous unto men, but within you are full of hypocrisy and iniquity.
Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! because you build the tombs of the prophets, and garnish the tombs of the righteous,
And say, If we had been in the days of our fathers, we would not have been partakers with them in the blood of the prophets.
Therefore you are witnesses unto yourselves, that you are the children of them which killed the prophets. You are but filling up the measure of your fathers.
You serpents, you generation of vipers, how can you escape the damnation of hell?
Therefore, behold, I send unto you prophets, and wise men, and scribes: and some of them you shall kill and crucify, and some of them you shall scourge in your synagogues, and persecute them from city to city.
That upon you may come all the righteous blood shed upon the earth, from the blood of righteous Abel unto the blood of Zacharias son of Barachias, whom you slew between the temple and the altar."
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Yes! The Messiah LOVED them! He loved them enough to tell them The Truth even though He knew they wanted to kill Him!
And so it remains unto this day ;-(
The religious ones, and the systems of religion that bind them in the chains of strong delusion, but carry on the legacy of the pharisee's ;-(
They still seek and desire to crucify The Truth ;-(
Yet, Thankfully Truth Will Always Rise Again!
HalleluYAH!
continued @ http://asimpleandspirituallife.blogspot.com/2012/06/love-messiah-had-for-religious-ones.html