Adoption--A Guest Post

Definition of ADOPT

Transitive verb

1. :to take by choice into a relationship; especially; to take voluntarily (a child of other parents) as one's own child.

I love this definition, especially the first part:  taking by choice into a relationship.  My husband and I made a choice to adopt, but in a way that some might not see as a true adoption.  So I thank Mr. Webster for his wording.  It makes my story that much easier to write.

My husband and I had difficulty conceiving a child.  After trying fertility medications, my doctor sent us to a specialist.  We spoke to the doctor and found we had two choices, we could walk away from trying to carry our own child and choose to adopt, or we could "adopt" someone else's embryos.  With lots of prayer along with God given logic, we decided to do both.  

We found an amazing adoption consultant who got us into an adoption support group.  We went through the home study and we waited to get matched with a birth family.  It was with our consultant and in the group that we gained a wealth of knowledge about adoption and made some lifelong friends in the process.  While we were waiting, we found a "perfect" match for embryo adoption.  

There were nine left over embryos from someone who had gone through ivf (in vetro fertilization) and she had decided donate the rest of her embryos to people like us, people, who could not have biological children of our own.  We finally had hope for having children.  Unfortunately, we quickly learned that hope and reality don't always see eye to eye.  The morning of our transfer, I got a call telling us that I didn't need to show up for the procedure. They had attempted to thaw seven of the embryos, but none of them survived.  A month later, we transferred the remaining two, and we got pregnant, but tragedy struck again at seven and a half weeks when we miscarried our little baby.  

After two heartaches we talked to our specialist and asked what other options were available to us.  He introduced us to a concept quite foreign to us: donor egg with donor sperm.  We would use a sperm bank and then choose an egg donor from the egg donor bank 

at our clinic.  We found the sperm donor after looking at dozens of profiles.  Our wonderful nurse helped us choose our egg donor.  She was the nurse for the patients as well as the donors and she recommended a donor based on personalities.  She told us this donor was a lot like me.  Once the donors were chosen, the process began.  We ended up with five strong and beautiful embryos!  Once again, we found out the hard way, we would never hold any of these babies in our arms here on earth.  

Before starting the process again, we fell to our knees asking God for guidance in our decision making.  It became crystal clear to both my husband and me that we needed to change fertility clinics and try again.  Our sperm donor had available vials at just the right time, but we needed to find another egg donor through our new clinic.  This clinic had very detailed profiles for their donors which included photos of the donors as children.  We had narrowed our search down to two.  My husband asked me to listen as he began to read one of the profiles.  Without looking at photos and without seeing what he was reading, the description sounded like me!  With the Lord's guidance we made our choice.

We ended up with eight embryos from which they transferred the "best" two.  I would have to agree, but I also believe that they were hand picked by God because they both implanted!  I am now the mommy to two beautiful ten month old daughters.  Daily, I talk to my girls about these amazing donors who gave gifts so that I could be a mommy.  In our nightly prayers, we thank God for people who gave so that we could be parents by choice, by "adoption" and still experience carrying a baby and giving birth to my girls.  

I was praying on the morning that I went into labor.  I was ten weeks before my due date and was explaining to God why I needed to go full term.  The Holy Spirit placed a verse on my heart in the midst of that prayer, "But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you.  My power is made perfect in weakness."  2 Corinthians 12:9. When the girls were born, I thought I understood  what the Lord was saying to me.  There is not much weaker than two 3 1/2  pound preemie babies.  But as the weeks passed, the verse continued to come back to my mind.  It became clear to me that my babies were not the weakness.  My infertility is my weakness!  God's power is made perfect in the fact that I cannot have biological children of my own!  "Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses so that the power of Christ can work through me!"

Adoption: to take by choice into a relationship

I firmly believe just as Christ chose to adopt me, he also chose the exact little girls He wanted for me, and I gladly and thankfully accept them as my children.

Shannon Faust is a former elementary school teacher turned full time mom to her miracle twin daughters.  Although she grew up in Western Michigan, she currently resides in Alpharetta, GA with her husband, her girls, and her beagles, Baxter and Charlie.  She is active in her church where she volunteers with the middle school students.  She enjoys reading Nicolas Sparks novels, listening to Jim Brickman's piano music, writing short stories, and blogging.  You can read her whole fertility journey at www.shannonleigh1976.wordpress.com