Humble Me, O Lord

Wow, it is amazing how God will see a weakness in our character and bring us to our needs about it. He uses the most unlikely (to us anyways!) ways to accomplish this as well.

Just last night (into this morning), God humbled me. I thought I had been living a pretty good life for Him, but He opened my eyes to a sin that I had been "hiding". It is something that I was thinking wasn't actually a sin. The world told me it was right for me to feel the way I did about the issue at hand. I've had numerous people tell me I was justified with my feelings (and some that told me I wasn't "angry" enough). But God opened my eyes to the fact that I'm called to be different from this world and in this instance ("And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind."--Romans 12:2), I needed to change my thinking.

We had an answer to prayer (and even beyond our prayer) from an unlikely source. I was ecstatic about the abundant blessing until I discovered who God used to provide us with the blessing. My first thought was that I didn't want it anymore, but God immediately chastised me. How was I to turn down a blessing from the Lord?! It is up to Him to use whomever He desires to bless us. It was just after having this thought that Chad asked me if it was because I "hated" the person. I immediately said, "I don't "hate" __________!" But in reality, I think I did. I was holding a grudge for things that happened 13 years ago, 10 years ago, and the most recent was 4 years ago. Who am I to hold a grudge for even 4 years?! What happened should have been forgiven a long time ago and I was just letting bitterness grow in my heart to the point where I almost gave up an immense blessing from the Lord because of it.

I was brought to my knees during my quiet time with God this morning. I asked for forgiveness from Him and I feel Him telling me that I need to apologize to the person in question and ask for forgiveness for myself.

I read Deuteronomy 8:2 this morning, "And you shall remember that the Lord your God led you all the way these forty years in the wilderness, to humble you and test you, to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep His commandments or not." I began wondering if the hardships we had been encountering which opened the door to receive this blessing was all because God was humbling me and testing me. Would I keep His commandments to forgive as I had been forgiven? Would I love my neighbor as myself? I can't believe it took me this long to see how wrong I have been, but I am thankful that my eyes were opened!

I Peter 5:6 says, "Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time." This is a promise from God! If we are obedient and open to His discipline, He will exalt us! It may not be fun or easy to endure, but we will be rewarded if we are faithful to allow Him to mold us. The nice thing is that He doesn't give us a time limit either. "In due time" tells us that it doesn't have to happen at a specific time, but when it comes "due" in our lives.


Thank you, O Lord, for humbling me and showing me the error of my ways. Please continue to prune me and mold me into the woman of Christ You would have me be. Open my eyes to any other "hidden" sin in my life. Show me how to truly live for You and show others Your love, grace, and mercy. Grant me the strength to humble myself before those I need to ask forgiveness from and not let my pride get in the way. Use me for Your honor and glory today. Amen.