33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
"love his wife"
"she reverence her husband"
I learned the truth of this many years ago. My husband and I were not in a good place in our marriage. Things were so bad that if we hadn't started our marriage with "divorce is NOT an option," we very well may have gotten a divorce.
You see, I entered our marriage a feminist. Granted, my feminist ways were already breaking down (I took his last name), I still had a long way to go.
I was controlling (or tried to be anyway), I thought I knew better (I was the one with the degree), and I had a "right" to be happy.
When things got really bad, I cried out to God to show me where we had gone wrong. I sought godly from my pastor's wife and I studied what the Bible had to say.
What I discovered was that I was tearing down my own house ("Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." ~ Proverbs 14:1).
I did not show Chad respect in many ways which caused him to not love me. This caused me to respect him less which caused him to show less love. It was just a vicious cycle that needed to stop.
I struggled with the fact that I was going to have to take the first step (why should it be me, right?), but it was what God was calling me to do.
There were many times I had to bit my tongue. There were many times I submitted even though I thought we were making a mistake (guess what--I was usually wrong!). There were many times I was only outwardly obedient ("fake it 'til you make it"). However, it worked! Imagine that, God's way worked!
Chad started showing me love which helped me respect him more which caused him to show more love which caused more respect. It was the same cycle as before, but in reverse.
We have had comments from people who knew me well before marriage about how I've changed. Some have asked Chad how he changed me. Thankfully, Chad is quick to tell them it was God who changed me!
I have hard the book Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs is a good book and from my understanding is about the same things I discovered years ago.
All I can say is that this is an important concept to understand in a marriage. It saved my marriage and helped us grow to where we are today--a strong, loving, respectful marriage.
I would love for you to share your thoughts!